Haha (2)

Vorige week hadden we een demo op het werk, met als voorbeeld een "hello, world" - zonder code - van 13 MB groot. Ja, we vonden het grappig.
Nooit gedacht dat het nog erger kon dan in die grap, vond F, en hij stuurde de al zeer oude grap naar ons door.

Subject: [Fwd: [comp.arch] Re: superior(?) programming languages]
Date: Thu, 6 Feb 1997 16:39:27 -0400

We should not forget that the quality and properties of the code is
not only due to the language used but also due to who is developing
the code. A compilation of *Hello World programs* designed by various categories of *developer* follows.
--------------------------------------

High School/Jr.High
===================

10 PRINT "HELLO WORLD"
20 END

First year in College
=====================
program Hello(input, output)
begin
writeln('Hello World')
end.

Senior year in College
======================
(defun hello
(print
(cons 'Hello (list 'World))))

New professional
================
#include
void main(void)
{
char *message[] = {"Hello ", "World"};
int i;

for(i = 0; i < 2; ++i)
printf("%s", message[i]);
printf("\n");
}

Seasoned professional
=====================
#include
#include

class string
{
private:
int size;
char *ptr;

public:
string() : size(0), ptr(new char('\0')) {}

string(const string &s) : size(s.size)
{
ptr = new char[size + 1];
strcpy(ptr, s.ptr);
}

~string()
{
delete [] ptr;
}

friend ostream &operator <<(ostream &, const string &);
string &operator=(const char *);
};

ostream &operator<<(ostream &stream, const string &s)
{
return(stream << s.ptr);
}

string &string::operator=(const char *chrs)
{
if (this != &chrs)
{
delete [] ptr;
size = strlen(chrs);
ptr = new char[size + 1];
strcpy(ptr, chrs);
}
return(*this);
}

int main()
{
string str;

str = "Hello World";
cout << str << endl;

return(0);
}

Master Programmer
=================
[
uuid(2573F8F4-CFEE-101A-9A9F-00AA00342820)
]
library LHello
{
// bring in the master library
importlib("actimp.tlb");
importlib("actexp.tlb");

// bring in my interfaces
#include "pshlo.idl"

[
uuid(2573F8F5-CFEE-101A-9A9F-00AA00342820)
]
cotype THello
{
interface IHello;
interface IPersistFile;
};
};

[
exe,
uuid(2573F890-CFEE-101A-9A9F-00AA00342820)
]
module CHelloLib
{

// some code related header files
importheader();
importheader();
importheader();
importheader("pshlo.h");
importheader("shlo.hxx");
importheader("mycls.hxx");

// needed typelibs
importlib("actimp.tlb");
importlib("actexp.tlb");
importlib("thlo.tlb");

[
uuid(2573F891-CFEE-101A-9A9F-00AA00342820),
aggregatable
]
coclass CHello
{
cotype THello;
};
};


#include "ipfix.hxx"

extern HANDLE hEvent;

class CHello : public CHelloBase
{
public:
IPFIX(CLSID_CHello);

CHello(IUnknown *pUnk);
~CHello();

HRESULT __stdcall PrintSz(LPWSTR pwszString);

private:
static int cObjRef;
};


#include
#include
#include
#include
#include "thlo.h"
#include "pshlo.h"
#include "shlo.hxx"
#include "mycls.hxx"

int CHello::cObjRef = 0;

CHello::CHello(IUnknown *pUnk) : CHelloBase(pUnk)
{
cObjRef++;
return;
}

HRESULT __stdcall CHello::PrintSz(LPWSTR pwszString)
{
printf("%ws\n", pwszString);
return(ResultFromScode(S_OK));
}


CHello::~CHello(void)
{

// when the object count goes to zero, stop the server
cObjRef--;
if( cObjRef == 0 )
PulseEvent(hEvent);

return;
}

#include
#include
#include "pshlo.h"
#include "shlo.hxx"
#include "mycls.hxx"

HANDLE hEvent;

int _cdecl main(
int argc,
char * argv[]
) {
ULONG ulRef;
DWORD dwRegistration;
CHelloCF *pCF = new CHelloCF();

hEvent = CreateEvent(NULL, FALSE, FALSE, NULL);

// Initialize the OLE libraries
CoInitializeEx(NULL, COINIT_MULTITHREADED);

CoRegisterClassObject(CLSID_CHello, pCF, CLSCTX_LOCAL_SERVER,
REGCLS_MULTIPLEUSE, &dwRegistration);

// wait on an event to stop
WaitForSingleObject(hEvent, INFINITE);

// revoke and release the class object
CoRevokeClassObject(dwRegistration);
ulRef = pCF->Release();

// Tell OLE we are going away.
CoUninitialize();

return(0); }

extern CLSID CLSID_CHello;
extern UUID LIBID_CHelloLib;

CLSID CLSID_CHello = { /* 2573F891-CFEE-101A-9A9F-00AA00342820 */
0x2573F891,
0xCFEE,
0x101A,
{ 0x9A, 0x9F, 0x00, 0xAA, 0x00, 0x34, 0x28, 0x20 }
};

UUID LIBID_CHelloLib = { /* 2573F890-CFEE-101A-9A9F-00AA00342820 */
0x2573F890,
0xCFEE,
0x101A,
{ 0x9A, 0x9F, 0x00, 0xAA, 0x00, 0x34, 0x28, 0x20 }
};

#include
#include
#include
#include
#include
#include "pshlo.h"
#include "shlo.hxx"
#include "clsid.h"

int _cdecl main(
int argc,
char * argv[]
) {
HRESULT hRslt;
IHello *pHello;
ULONG ulCnt;
IMoniker * pmk;
WCHAR wcsT[_MAX_PATH];
WCHAR wcsPath[2 * _MAX_PATH];

// get object path
wcsPath[0] = '\0';
wcsT[0] = '\0';
if( argc > 1) {
mbstowcs(wcsPath, argv[1], strlen(argv[1]) + 1);
wcsupr(wcsPath);
}
else {
fprintf(stderr, "Object path must be specified\n");
return(1);
}

// get print string
if(argc > 2)
mbstowcs(wcsT, argv[2], strlen(argv[2]) + 1);
else
wcscpy(wcsT, L"Hello World");

printf("Linking to object %ws\n", wcsPath);
printf("Text String %ws\n", wcsT);

// Initialize the OLE libraries
hRslt = CoInitializeEx(NULL, COINIT_MULTITHREADED);

if(SUCCEEDED(hRslt)) {


hRslt = CreateFileMoniker(wcsPath, &pmk);
if(SUCCEEDED(hRslt))
hRslt = BindMoniker(pmk, 0, IID_IHello, (void **)&pHello);

if(SUCCEEDED(hRslt)) {

// print a string out
pHello->PrintSz(wcsT);

Sleep(2000);
ulCnt = pHello->Release();
}
else
printf("Failure to connect, status: %lx", hRslt);

// Tell OLE we are going away.
CoUninitialize();
}

return(0);
}

Apprentice Hacker
===================
#!/usr/local/bin/perl
$msg="Hello, world.\n";
if ($#ARGV >= 0) {
while(defined($arg=shift(@ARGV))) {
$outfilename = $arg;
open(FILE, ">" . $outfilename) || die "Can't write $arg: $!\n";
print (FILE $msg);
close(FILE) || die "Can't close $arg: $!\n";
}
} else {
print ($msg);
}
1;


Experienced Hacker
===================
#include
#define S "Hello, World\n"
main(){exit(printf(S) == strlen(S) ? 0 : 1);}

Seasoned Hacker
===================
% cc ~/src/misc/hw/hw.c
% a.out

Guru Hacker
===================
% cat
Hello, world.
^D

New Manager
===================
10 PRINT "HELLO WORLD"
20 END

Middle Manager
===================
mail -s "Hello, world." bob@b12
Bob, could you please write me a program that prints "Hello,
world."?
I need it by tomorrow.
^D

Senior Manager
===================
% zmail jim
I need a "Hello, world." program by this afternoon.

Chief Executive
===================
% letter
letter: Command not found.
% mail
To: ^X ^F ^C
% help mail
help: Command not found.
% damn!
!: Event unrecognized
% logout
.

Het werd pas echt fun toen onze programmeurs zich geroepen voelden om de grap verder te illustreren.

In ABAP (voor de volledigheid)
==============================
“

REPORT demo_hello_world.


* Selection Screen

PARAMETERS input(12) TYPE c DEFAULT 'Hello World!'.


* Dynpro

CALL SCREEN 100.


* List

SKIP TO LINE 10.

POSITION 40.

WRITE input.

”

En voor de volledige volledigheid, in Java:
===========================================
<  h:outputText value="Hello World"  / >  


In een PDF stream:
==================

obj <</Filter/FlateDecode/Length 60>>stream
xœ+är
á26S°00S.Iá2PÐ5´ 1ôÝ....BÒ¸4<Rsrò.Âó‹rR4C²¸\C¸.¹ X
-
endstream
endobj

 

of voor pussy's die niet kunnen decoderen:

q
BT
36 806 Td
/F1 12 Tf
(Hello World)Tj
ET
Q

En nu nog sterker ;-)
=====================




Met als conclusie
=================
Subject: Re: Hello, World!
def stop_scaring_people_to_come_to_the_3rd_floor (halloworld = "Hallo
world"):
return halloworld

stop_scaring_people_to_come_to_the_3rd_floor ()

Kijk, ik heb gelachen. En ik wil best snappen dat niet iedereen dit grappig vindt. Soms is het gewoon "revenge of the nerds" bij ons.